Education & Information

Managing Anger

Anger is a natural emotion that all people feel.  It is a signal that we are being hurt, our rights are being violated, or our wants or needs are not being met.

“Anger is probably the most poorly handled feeling”, says Ann Blemker, Life Skills Education Specialist at Family Service.  “There is nothing wrong with feeling angry.  How we express anger is important.  People often bottle up their anger to the point of exploding or becoming depressed.  They need to learn how to handle that anger in constructive ways so they won’t feel helpless and powerless.”

It’s important to recognize anger in yourself and others, identify the cause, and make a plan to express the anger instead of bottling it up.  Determine what options will resolve the problem and take positive steps.

• Take time to calm down.  Physical activity, rest, and relaxation, or plowing into a project can diffuse anger.
• Choose whether or not to do something about the situation.  Deciding not to take action is a choice.
• Assertively communicate your position with those involved without becoming defensive or attacking, by saying “I feel….” not “You did” or “You said”.
If we deal with our frustrations and anger constructively, we begin to feel less angry and desperate and we will stop doing things that hurt ourselves and others.  This will improve our relationships at home and at work.
 
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